Bereaved parents' baby loss book offers hope for others | News

Bereaved parents have described how they found support from a baby loss book launched by Sheryl Roy, a specialist bereavement counsellor at Royal Surrey.  

In October 2023, to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week, Sheryl, together with two bereaved mums, launched the book for parents affected by baby loss.

Holding Hope with Empty Arms is a collection of 14 moving stories reflecting on the impact of baby loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, and termination for medical reasons. 

Two years on, 5,500 copies of the book have been either sold, or handed out to bereaved parents across the UK and another 2,000 are on order.

The book not only contains the personal experiences told by mums, dads and grandparents but includes guidance on coping with grief, finding support, talking to young children about loss, communicating with partners, managing subsequent pregnancies and more. 

Hannah and her husband Henry faced the devastating loss of their baby HJ after she died during labour last October. Hannah said: “I was given a copy of the book, Holding Hope with Empty Arms and it gave me some comfort because the stories in it reflected our own experience of stillbirth.

“It was hard to read the book from cover to cover but I dipped into it and found it helpful to know that other parents had been through what we’d been through but were able to talk about it in a nice way and were able to manage their grief somehow and move forward. It showed me a way of talking to people and the kind of words to use to describe what had happened to us. Reading the stories was also a way of validating some of the big emotions we were feeling.”

Anna and David, who lost their son Innes after a termination for medical reasons at 26 weeks, also found solace in the book. Anna said: “At the 20 week scan we were told that our baby had multiple abnormalities and we went through six weeks of testing. We brought him into the world on 12 June 2023 and he had 45 minutes of life with us.

“After the loss of Innes, I came across Holding Hope with Empty Arms and I felt a real connection with the people in the book and how beautifully they had written about their babies. 

“Termination is a very taboo subject and I found it helpful to read the experience written about this by parents in this book. I’ve also found the advice and guidance on talking to friends useful, as well as coping with pregnancy announcements.”

Holding Hope with Empty Arms also gave comfort to Sarah and Will, whose baby Cerys Thea died in the womb at 40 weeks and 2 days. They said: “The book shouldn’t have to exist but we’re glad it does exist. It’s important to know that baby loss isn’t just happening to you alone.

“You do feel very lonely, there’s lots of searching for an answer, but the book is helpful because the same people who are sharing their stories are then also giving advice on how they managed the funeral, or telling people their news, so you’re able to follow and see some of their journey and how to navigate that yourself.

“When Cerys died, we knew no one who had lost a baby at such as late stage as us, but one of the stories in the book is a very similar story to our own and hearing that, helped us feel less alone."

Holding Hope with Empty Arms can be ordered for free by NHS Trusts from the professional section of the 4Louis website.

The book is also available for £5 from the 4Louis website shop. Each book purchased will buy one book for a bereaved family in hospital.